It took a while
by darkhallways
Summary: "you know, it's my senior prom so I kind of wanted to go with somebody I really care about"


One of my favorite things to do with Blaine is listening while he plays, usually piano. There's just something about the way his fingers dance across the keyboard that is so relaxing, especially when I'm laying over the piano. This time though, lying on my back on top of the piano in the deserted choir room, I'm feeling a little stressed. I know that Blaine likes to talk while he plays, and I need to find a topic, before he starts asking about girls.

Since Blaine got engaged to Kurt he's been the happiest I've ever seen him; it's really cool after all the time he spent feeling down because of the whole cheating thing. I am really happy for him, but he's been kind of obsessed with wanting everyone to feel as happy as he is. And that includes trying to find someone for me. But it's no use; the only person I want to be with is engaged now.

I really want to avoid that conversation, so, even though it's a little hard to talk about it, I choose the topic that I know will keep him going for hours: Kurt. Or at least something related.

"So how does it work with gay marriage?" I ask as nonchalantly as possible. "Do you take his last name? Or does he take yours? Or do you both hyphenate? Because…"

And as predicted, Blaine interrupts me. "Right now I'm just really exited Kurt said 'yes'," he says, and all I can hear is so much happiness in his voice. I wish I could be the one to make him that incredibly happy. Suddenly the music stops. "Hey, are you looking forward to prom? I fell asleep last night while Tina was texting me about her prom dress. It's very nice of you going with her by the way."

"Yeah, I guess so, I don't know." I find it pretty funny that Blaine thinks it's nice of me, since it was his idea, otherwise I would never do it. I mean, I like Tina, but she's been weird lately and I don't think I want to spend my entire senior prom with her. "I just, you know, it's my senior prom so I kind of wanted to go with somebody I really care about," I say as I sit up. "Damn, I have seriously been unlucky in love." Wait; did I just say that out loud? I turn around and upon seeing Blaine's face I know I did. How on earth did I manage to get to this topic, while I was trying to avoid it?

Luckily, Mr. Schue arrives, sends us to our seats and starts rambling about The Beatles. I guess I was too distracted to notice that everyone else was already in the room. While Mr. Schue talks, Blaine shots me little looks of what appears to be pity, it seems so long since he used to give me adoring longing looks instead of these. I miss those looks, I could practically see the love in his eyes, but I was too much of an idiot to notice it.

The voice of Coach Sylvester gets me out of my thoughts as she announces the candidates for prom queen and king. First king candidate is Blaine, which comes as no surprise. I bet he'll win, how could he not? I can already see the bright smile that's going to cross his face when he's crowned. I get a little lost in my thoughts of that stunning smile, and next thing I now Tina's name is called.

This prom date is probably just going to get that much complicated; we should start off on the right foot. "Tina! Wow! Even though I'm not nominated, it's such an honor to be going to prom with a potential queen," I say in the most excited voice I can muster.

"Oh sorry, Sam, it was really nice of you to offer to go with me but I'm gonna have to decline your invitation." I may have thought she was kidding if it wasn't for the look she was giving me.

"But you already accepted." I know I didn't really wanted to go with Tina, but I still can't believe she's ditching me for a chance to be "greater than Jesus". And of top of that, she's following my rejection with a music number. The bell rings in the middle of Tina's number and I couldn't be happier to get out of the choir room. I go straight to my locker to get my stuff and I head out of the school.

As I'm walking out the parking lot, Blaine's red car stops next to me and he rolls the window down and smiles at me. "Hey do you want a ride home? We could stop for coffee on the way." I could never say no to that face even if I wanted to.

We wait in silence for our coffees and then we take a seat at Blaine's usual table. The silence begins to turn uncomfortable. I look up from my coffee and my eyes meet Blaine's eyes; warm, honey eyes that look at me with so much tenderness. "Sammy what's wrong?" he asks with genuine concern.

"Nothing," I say, even though I know he can tell it's not true.

"I know you're lying Sam," he says, and he looks at me, urging me to tell the truth, but I can't. So I try to make up an excuse.

"It's just this whole thing with Tina…" but even if I had an actual lie prepared, I'd never get to say it, because Blaine wasn't buying any of it.

"I know that's not it," he says. Then his face changes and he gives me the same look he gave me in the choir room. I can swear it's pity. "You told me yourself you'd rather go with someone you care about, is this about that?"

I really couldn't come up with a lie at this point even if I wanted to, so I just look down at my cup of coffee and say "Yes."

I feel his hand reach out for mine, and I let him rub his thumb on the back of my hand. We remain silent until I look back up. He's still looking at me like I'm a kicked dog. "I could tell you've had a crush on someone for a while now, I don't know how but I just did," he said. So that's what all the pity was about, he knows me too well.

I have indeed been crushing on him for a while now. It was so slow I didn't even notice it. Since I let Blaine know I was okay with his little crush on me, he'd been dropping compliments now and then. To know that someone as amazing as Blaine liked me really caught my attention, so I started paying more attention to him. I started noticing how electric it felt whenever he touched me, how nice it felt to held him close every time we hugged, how beautiful his eyes are, and most importantly, I started noticing how incredibly gorgeous he looked every single time he smiled. So once I caught myself staring at the back of his neck during class, it wasn't hard to figure out I had a crush on him. But that was at the beginning; by now I knew for sure, that it wasn't just a crush.

"I couldn't figure out who it was though." He squeezes my hand and then says, "Whoever it is you're crushing on, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to go with you to the prom."

I take my hand back and look back down at my coffee; I really can't take it any longer. I know there's no chance in hell he still likes me. After the amazing proposal he put up for Kurt, his soul mate, I know I'll just face another rejection. But I can't stop my mouth from saying "I don't have a crush on a girl," and now it's too late to go back, so why not go all the way? "I have a crush on you, I'm…I'm in love with you."

We stay in silence for a few minutes and I can't even hear him breath. With all the strength I can muster I look up, and find a blank look on Blaine's face. "Blaine, say something please."

He shakes his head a little. "I, I don't know what to say Sam" he says "You, you can't be serious."

I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure didn't hurt this much. I can feel my heart clenching in my chest, and tears sting in my eyes. Blaine quickly notices the pain behind my eyes. "Are you serious?" he asks, and I feel worse with every word he says, worse than I ever thought I could feel.

I can't trust my voice not to break so I simply nod while I fight back the tears. The pitiful look Blaine had been giving me all day was nothing compared to the way he is looking at me right now. "I'm sorry, Sam," he says, "I really am."

He reaches out for my hand but I put both under the table. He looks at me, and I can tell how truly sorry he is; as if he had actually done anything wrong. "Why now?" he asks.

As I thought, my voice breaks as I say, "It took me a while to figure it out." The look he's giving me gets only worse once he hears how broken and pathetic I sound. "I'm sorry, Blaine, I know your engaged now, and I know Kurt's your soul mate, I just couldn't hold it in any longer."

I can't bear to see him anymore, so I just stand up and leave the coffee shop. As soon as I cross the front door, the tears begin to stream freely down my face, and hard as I try I just can't stop them. I have never felt this much pain in my entire life. My heart feels like it's been shattered in to pieces, and I wonder if this is the first time I have really hurt, if this is the first time I have really cried, because I know this is the first time I have really loved.

I half expect to hear footsteps behind me or a shiny red car to stop besides me, but it never happens.


End file.
